Well, we've officially moved into the "anger" portion of the grieving process. After a few days of numbness, now we're just mad. At unemployment, moving companies, limited resources, lack of time, exhaustion, not knowing what's coming next, a serious hitch to our plans. We're just frustrated now.
Last night I went for a drive by myself. Just long enough for me to scream into the heavens my fears through gasping sobs. "I CAN'T DO THIS!" I yelled repeatedly, "I CAN'T! I don't know what I'm doing." I don't. I wake up in the morning, content for the two seconds before I realize my life has just been flipped upside down. Then the rest of the day is spent in a haze of (usually) quiet grief and confusion. "I'm trying to be faithful and understand Your plan for us right now but I don't know what I'm doing..." I screamed and cried until my vision was so blurry from a blinding headache that I had to go home. No more tears that night.
I'm so overwhelmed right now. I get emails all day long, from people wanting to buy Peggy Sue, family wanting to know plans, friends wanting to help. I'm sending out emails to moving companies, trying to figure out how to get our stuff home "affordably" and quickly.
All I want to do is lay on the sofa.
Tomorrow is Monday. Hopefully we will have more answers as we hear back from more moving companies. Hopefully we can set a date for departure. Hopefully...tomorrow...
But today? I'm still just mad.