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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

pepto bismalworthy

I sold my soul today. For twenty-three dollars. I am officially a resident of Ohio. My stomach has been in knots all day. Nausea, lots of nausea. I went directly from the BMV to get cupcakes and a cranberry limeade at Sonic. Thank you, happy hour!

Did I mention the license is red? RED! Ugh... I changed my mind. Can I move again?

Monday, September 28, 2009

mother's intuition

I have never been the girl who was over the moon excited about being a mum someday. I never chose potential baby names for future offspring. Kids and I have never really gotten along all that well. Mind you, I have always wanted to be a mum, eventually. After I learn how to cook, manage my finances, find the right guy who can handle being with me, and earning several degrees of varying levels all in overly academic fields.

Lately, though, a cute baby makes me go weak in the knees and my ovaries start freaking out. "Reproduce! Reproduce now!!" my body seems to be yelling at me. It's weird! I have no idea what to do with this! And it just keeps getting worse. Lebanese children with almond eyes and curly dark hair, black babies with nappy hair, my little cousin Lydia who says "toot" in place of "cute." Do these darling creatures understand how heartless their existence and sporadic appearance in my life is? Apparently not! Just this morning I caught sight of a pudgy baby while running errands.

My ovaries are just going to have to learn to deal with disappointment.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

meanwhile, back in the mitten

So, there was this one time when I came home for the weekend. The weekend turned into nearly a week. And I'm so okay with that. The initial reasoning behind my hiatus from the Scarlet and Grey was, and is, incredibly sad. A dear family friend died tragically a few weeks ago in a car accident while home in Lebanon. The stateside memorial service was this past Sunday, and my excuse to head north.

The memorial service was bittersweet. A full Catholic mass, little was said of the great woman I knew until the very end. At least, I don't think anything was said. Really, I have no idea. That's because ninety percent of what was said was in Arabic. You read right, Arabic. This was an entirely new experience for me. I've been to my fair share of religious services of varying faiths, but not once have I sat through something in Arabic. It was beautiful to listen to, there was a lot of holy smoke, and I was totally lost. My gratitude for the ability to be home for the service, however, cannot be measured.

In the interim of my visit, I have frequented several cider mills, a seasonal pastime and favorite activity of mine. It is my sincere belief that everyone should experience the fall east of the Mississippi at least once in their lifetime. It's fantastic! Apple orchards, changing leaves, rain, sweaters, pumpkin patches...what's there not to like?

My stay was extended because of today's events. I met with a gentleman from the Detroit Institute of Arts about the workings of the museum, gathering information as I try to make plans for my future. It rocked! He offered so much insight that is utterly invaluable! Then I was let loose in the DIA. Free to wander. Free. As in, without restraints and also devoid of the admission fee.

You know how most people love amusement parks? Their inner child comes out and they turn giddy? That was me for the glorius hour I had inside the walls of the DIA. I walked through the rooms, rather more quickly than I would have liked, and relished the masters who adorned their walls. There is no drug that could have brought me more delight. No candy more satisfying. I'm not even sure a good Coke would match up to the joy I felt this afternoon. It was pure, unequivicable bliss.

I'm currently supposed to be driving back down to Columbus. That's obviously not happening. The museum called, I listened, and Detroit is claiming me for one more night.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

grammatically challenged

Does anyone know the proper usage for the verb lay? I am positive I misuse it all the time but have no idea what the correct forms may be. Please, if you know, help!

Friday, September 18, 2009


I keep trying to siphon off the remaining bits of my soul to the State of Ohio, but it just keeps not working. It's like the bureaucrats know that I'm from Michigan without even seeing my license and refuse to let me in. It began a few weeks ago when I went to the BMV* to get things going and I was rather impolitely told that I was in the wrong office. Brilliant, I thought, I'll just go to the other office today and get it taken care of. Wrong. The office is closed on Mondays. It was Monday at the time. I thought only museums and LDS temples were cool enough to be closed on Mondays, what possible reasoning does the ODOT BMV have for being closed?

So after taking care of any number of other things, I sucked up my pride this morning and convinced myself that today was the day I would lose part of my identity and become a resident of Ohio. Driving through the mysterious and previously unknown streets of Columbus, I finally happened upon the ODOT compound. I presented myself to the pseudo-charming bureaucrat behind the reception desk and she asked to see my license. My license was in my wallet. Which was in my backpack. Which was in the trunk of liten bil. So I walked with a smile on my face, because really, I was rather happy to finally get this ordeal over with, out to my car and back. Somehow in the span of five minutes the computer system at ODOT had gone down and I was unable to sell off my soul. Again. The process will have to be attempted again next week.

I'm beginning to seriously consider just paying the jacked up tuition rates and just deal with it later because I really don't think Ohio wants to claim me, just as I'm still not entirely keen on claiming it.

*ODOT refers to it as the Bureau of Motorized Vehicles rather than Department. This I found odd, which is saying something since in Michigan it's neither. In stead, we refer to it as the Secretary of State, equally stupid, if not more so, but still...

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Friends are such strange anomalies to me. Have you ever considered how you and your dearest friends came to be? For me, the moment when I solidified a bond is blurred somewhere in a lengthy history with individuals I would never wish to sever ties with.

Now I'm in this strange situation where every day I'm trying to make new friends. I'm in search of kindred spirits, shopping buddies, culture buddies, intellectuals, fellow geeks, conversationalists, and playmates.

What I keep pondering is the idea of trust. How is it that we match up with certain individuals and begin to trust them with our souls? Sometimes, this is not an easy task. It takes years of picking away at a granite block to reveal a David underneath. Then there are friendships that just come easily. Without questioning, the deepest of topics can be discussed. All sorts of friendship require trust. But who are we trusting; the other person or ourselves? Right now, I think I'm learning how to trust myself all over again.

Monday, September 14, 2009

recipe: saturday extraordinaire

1 pair of new friends
1 car
3 festivals
6 NCAA football teams
zest of sun, to taste
1 cupcake
2 cookies
2 apples
1 street vendor
1 fantastic restaurant
drizzle of starlight

Take the pair of new acquaintances, inject them with fresh fruit and place in the car. Begin in Grandview Heights for farmer's market. May be best to feed here after procuring fresh fruit. Results vary, but tend to be positive. Local bakers may also be present. Utilize.

Return to car, head in a westerly direction until reaching Hilliard. Roam the streets basking in classic cars, Sweet Adeline performers, and local artists. Street vendor optional at this point.

Return to car, and start driving. Helps if one of the pair of friends is new to the area and has no idea where any of these places are. Take a southern course to Lithopolis. There, surprise the unassuming newbie with a smörgåsbord of antique stores, a small art fair, honey festival, and bratwurst. Allow adequate time for roaming, shopping, and general silliness. Proper monetary considerations also need to be reckoned with as willpower tends to diminish in the presence of watercolor paintings, a National Geographic book from 1926, and a wide variety of honey. Prepare accordingly.

When sustained by bratwurst, return to car and veer north back into Columbus for another festival. Far more amusing if it is composed of hippies and their wares. Festival should not be left until joining in the process of creating a mural with a local artisan. A preferred medium is handmade paper, especially with the raw material. Such a medium leads to fingers stained blue from "non-toxic" dye. After sufficiently dyed, a break is necessary. Return the unassuming newbie home for a few hours to relax and catch football scores.

For this concoction to really be successful, BYU needs to give Tulane a thorough trashing, raising them even further in the rankings. (No. 7 on the AP poll is preferred.) This can only be catapaulted by a last-moment win by Michigan over Notre Dame, giving the former a 2-0 record before conference play.

To round off the day, select an absolutely amazing menu from the the selection for Restaurant Week. Dress appropriately, head to restaurant (in this case G. Michael's in German Village), and let the chef do all the work. Be prepared for a sensory overload as the most incredible meal ever created is placed before you. Three desserts are optional, but definitely preferred. Good conversation and good company are a must.

Follow this off with a stroll through the park, walking off the inordinate amount of food that has been consumed. Add a crystaline sky, the twinkle of starlight, and the slightest of breezes to taste.

Wake up the next morning to find out that USC beat Ohio State in the last minutes of play, and the day will be complete.

Serving sizes vary.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

happy hour

This is the cover of a notebook one of my really good friends bought about a month ago. She was in town (Detroit) with me for when I went through the temple the first time. She is 23. A nurse. And taking this notebook with her to Georgetown where she's beginning her Masters work to become a Nurse Practioner.

"Do you think my classmates will take me seriously with this notebook?" We both giggled at the irony of the question. "I don't care. It makes me happy."

To top it off, she and I teamed up to name this book. More the goofy looking pseudo-dinosaur on the front, but still. Something this awesome deserves a name.

Albert? Nope. Jedediah? Nope. Bob? Nope. How about Great Googly Moogly? Perfect! Goo Moo for short. Even better!! Perfect. Goo Moo. It says, "I'm happy! Life's okay!"

Great googly moogly, it does!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

positive reenforcement

I got the picture, that you finally sent.
I read your letter, and I know what you meant.
That's you and me, in Salt Lake City.
You sure look pretty.

Wish we could go back again.

And are you on my mind, every day, all the time?
And though you're far away, don't you know, I feel the same.

Oh well anyway, I just called to say,
Everything's gonna be okay.
Your friends aren't that far away.
Don't get so down on yourself.
Don't get so down on yourself.
Don't get so down on yourself.
Think of me with you.

Oh well anyway, I just called to say,
Everything's gonna be okay.
Your friends aren't so far away.
Tomorrow's another day.

Don't get so down on yourself.
Don't get so down on yourself.
Don't get so down on yourself.

Think of me with you.

Don't get so down on yourself.
Don't get so down on yourself.
Don't get so down on yourself.

Think of me with you.
Cause I do. I think of you

Chris Isaak, Don't Get So Down on Yourself

Sunday, September 06, 2009


Red really isn't such an awful color. It's the color of the leaves I retrieved from a park today. The sky was warmed with the reddened hues of sunrise this morning. The fields of roses I found at a city park were in endless shades of red.

Red is only a problem when an entire city, at the hands of delusional fanatics, transforms into a mass haze of the what-should-not-be-problematic color on game day.

So, I'm sticking to blue. In honor of BYU kicking the tar out of Oklahoma last night. In honor of that great state to the north which I will forever refer to as home. And really, just to annoy the crazies who live here. This really was a good idea to move here.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

attn: john

Dear Borders,

You and I have had quite the ride together, as you well know. I have savored each and every moment, but I think the time has come for me to sever the ties a bit. You're an Ann Arbor based company, and I need to maintain every connection to Michigan that I can now so all is not lost. But things are going to be different now.

It's not you, it's just, I found the ultimate book lover's store. Half-Price Books. It's here in Columbus and is the first place, besides your one charming location and Caribou Coffee, that really made me feel like I belonged and had a home.

Today I went to two different locations and found an absolute stockpile of books that I doubt I ever would have looked at before. I sat on the floor and ruffled through pages of books on art history, fashion, architecture, gardening, U.S. and world history. The shelves were bursting with books I had never even heard of! And then there was the fact that the store was hiring, right when I so desperately need a job.

I'm sorry Borders, I wish things could be different, but they just aren't. Maybe we'll be able to go back to how things were when I leave Columbus.


Tuesday, September 01, 2009

falling in love

During my years in Utah, I missed one thing in particular: autumn. It is hands down my favorite time of the year. Going back to school, wool sweaters, rich colors, and cool, crisp air. The desert just doesn't accommodate such needs well.

But guess what? I'm not in the desert anymore!

My newfound region of the world has been experiencing uncharacteristically mild temperatures over the summer. This has resulted in lower levels of humidity (wahooo!!!) and cool evenings. The past week in particular has been intoxicating. There have been days of damp, drizzling rain where all you can do is hunker down with a cup of tea, a good book, and a thick cozy sweater.

Today the sky is crystal blue, not a customary sight in the midwest with the haze of humidity always looming, and completely devoid of clouds. The sun is warm, but the most delicious breeze brings hints of the change of season that must surely be coming soon. I sit on a patio and soak in the last of the summer greenery. Some trees are already beginning to show the slightest traces of rust and gold. Such sights make me giddy for the rest of the fall season.